Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The Oncoming Storm

NOTE: Michael Parks has since abandoned this project, so some of the links might be broken. This is because everything I link to dies. I resolve to use these powers for good. But he still has a Youtube channel, if you're interested.

Are you a fan of funny things on the internet? Of course you are. That's what you mistook this blog for, right? Do you often find yourself desperately scouring the You Tubes for funny new things to watch? But of course. Thanks to Obama care, such measures are practically a necessity in this day and age. Have you ever owed someone a favor that your debtor insisted "could only be repaid with your body or your mind", and you're saving yourself for marriage, so you were forced to settle on the latter? No? Oh. Me neither. There was no reason for bringing that up.

On a note that is completely related to those first two things, but not at all related to that last one, I have a friend who is quite a funny thing on the internet. I've actually linked to some of his work before, (I believe it was in the post about Gay Licks. Well, one of them, anyway.) but he's on the move again, and he's started a new sort of webseries called "Storm Pocket", which seems to consist of him and my other internet friend, Payton Knobeloch, talking about comic stuff, and maybe fondling Jesus. But just like, portraits of Jesus. Nothing like, creepy or anything. They also have an original composition as their opening theme, and it's really, really good. So there's that.

Basically, this first episode is about two grown(?), adult(???) men(No questions here), talking about a cartoon about superheroes that is unabashedly made for children. This contrasts starkly with the cartoons that I watch, which heavily feature esoteric literary references, morally complex situations, and magical girls.

Truly, the wallpaper of a cultured gentleman
Basically, the video takes the form of Michael Parks and Payton Knobeloch shooting the shit about a show that they watched, and occasionally saying funny things, all without the warm comfort of a pseudonym to hide behind. If it helps, think of it as being kind of like "Game Grumps", except they're not talking about games, they're not really grumping, and no one is likely to make musical remixes of their words.

"I'm Spell-Check" "And I'm Not-so-Spell-Check!"

Afterwards, they talk about Injustice: Gods Among Us, which is a video game that is about comic books. So, if this first video is any indication, Storm Pocket will largely consist of two guys talking about things that are based on comics, but tactfully avoiding going in for the money shot and ever actually talking about comics themselves. I'll admit, the video does get a little slow towards the middle, when they're talking about Injustice and things that I can't really say I care too much about, but it picks back up towards the end, and I definitely think it's worth checking out. If nothing else, more views will give Parks some much needed self-esteem, so it's practically like charity work. Hit the refresh button a few times, and I might see if I can pull some strings and get you a few gentlepoints for your troubles.

The second video by Michael Parks that I've come to plug is a short comedy sketch about granola bars (OR IS IT?!?) It also features some music that is almost certainly from Earthbound, stellar acting, graphic depictions of granola mangling, and some pretty dope sound effects. There isn't really much else to say about it, except that Parks isn't really racist, I swear. The joke is a rather short, "blink and you'll miss it" kind of thing, so if you need to apply eyedrops, it may be a good idea to do so before watching this video.

In addition, he has a short Horror film, about 20 minutes long, called "Whispering Pines", which, among other things, includes the most dangerous secret in the universe. It's only mentioned casually, though, so unless you already know what it is, you're unlikely to catch it. The film, much like Parks himself, is just a joke, with no intention of being taken seriously, so don't go in expecting an actual horror film.

I know Parks has some other things he's done, like the Parksnotes that he turned in as actual school projects, but I can't seem to find them, which is something of a shame. I seem to recall him mentioning that he'd purged much of his work, due to some silly thing called "standards of quality", but you'll never have to worry about anything like that over here. I promise to never delete anything from my blog, no matter how shamefully terrible I know it to be. Such is the depth of my dedication to my readers.


  1. Joke's on you. Our show has no direction.

  2. I was beginning to wonder if anyone would ever comment on my blog. But I'm glad that I got to share my first time with you, Payton. This is a really special moment for me.